London Fixed-gear and Single-speed

I saw this one bloke once up on east cheap totally lose it

and drag a motorists from his car and batter him proper

I had to laugh

See the thing about riding a bike is that its physical and you got adrenaline pumping

You get into an 'off' with a motorist you are already pumped up ready to go

It took me a long long time to learn how to keep my cool

In the death you just got to accept that its all part of the game

You just got to let it go

Now I'm in that sour post-boozin mood. I'm voting for compulsory cyclist training just like the truckies reckon, cept it's gonna be track training on Sat at Herne Hill.. :)

So all cyclists will be good at navigating one-way systems.

round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round round and round and round

you only turn left and that's when HGVs move in to cut you up and kill...

There's not much to go wrong really. Just handlebars will grrrrrrrrinnnddd if the bearings get damaged.

Hire a HGV to drive round the track to practice avoiding them!

Nice morning today... I've got a feeling it should be better than yesterday :) Otherwise I will go crazy at the driver.

Oh, the good old days, in Australia, how I wish the pissy-little cars here in England had proper engine capacity. Like 6 to 8 litres.

You forgot the beer bottles randomly dispensed from Falcons and the two-ton Kingswood station-wagon full of drunk teenagers that stalked you through the suburbs for an hour one dark night. Don't get me started on the Slayer fans in their fucking utes.

More like: head checking and not sticking your bike where it shouldn't be, e.g perpendicular in front of mine!

Well I lost to a roadie, had two BMWs beep at me and I locked my wallet in the building. Fscking top notch.
Changing my name to Captain Whinge this week!

I can confirm that Norwood, is not only shit, but is also the worst place to cycle for people cutting you up. I was breaking my bollox trying to get to the cash n carry last night to meet someone, (having not left myself enough time to get there comfortably) and from the end of streatham to the start of purly way I was cut up by (black) people pulling out without looking or without any consideration for me as a road user 8 times in 12 streets and left hucked by drivers twice. I could swear kellogs had a give away driving licence with every pack of cornflakes there.

You're kidding right? Commodores wouldn't even fit down half the streets here and increase engine power is NOT something I want people in London having!!
I don't think I ever got anything chucked at me from a car. But there's been so much other sh1t i might just be forgetting it!
I have had a cnut in a brown Kingswood deliberately swerve at me. He got close but I was ready for him. Pity I never caught him at the next lights.

I used to be a Slayer fan. Never owned a ute though :)

Yeah I was being sarcastic, one litre is too much.

Ah, ok, sometimes scar chasm goes amiss on interwebby forum thingies. :)

thats an idea- a piece of freeware like emoticons that can convey dry humour and sarcasm ( in levels ) in text files, threads and forums and stuff...

;-) works for me

yeah its quite common for (black) people to not look where they're going.....i think it has somthing to do with them being from africa......have you noticed it allways seems to be polish people that step out into the road without looking?

Surely the people stepping out or driving into you, etc. are just as likely from any race? You may get more of one in a certain area because people from one nationality usually stick together (Aussies and eg. Shepherds Bush).

I tell you what's caused me the most problems.. the mobile phone gawking and zoned out ipod-listening races.

One factor could be people from mainland Europe drive on the other side of the road and so expect traffic from the wrong direction, ie. they're looking the wrong way when stepping out. I see people looking the other way when walking onto a road all the time - surely they're not ALL dumb sheep?

Any Polish people in your way say "Roos duppe" means "Move your ass". But bear in mind duppe is their version of c*nt. Though if it's a really hot Polish girl then say "Ish dash binkna" = "You are beautiful".

"yestesh zai-a-beesta" means "you are beautiful"
"fine-a doopa" means "nice arse"
"spear-da-lay" means "fsck off"

How do you know they were Polish aidan?

i was taking the piss out of the rediculous comment made before.....(black) people!!! thats f**king stupid

did you really think my comment before was genuine???

"i think it has somthing to do with them coming from africa" .........theres no way you thought i was serious??

So start applying the brakes/skidding immediately if you see a Polish (black) person. They're all the same.

(white) people are always getting in my way too, damn this rainbow society.

I assumed it was just not checking the thread before the 'add comments' button. At least, I hoped it was...

f&kin humans!

Hippy - I was spelling phonetically as I was taught those phrases by a girl I used to work with. And those are to say to women, I think your ones are the male versions. I think. Probably wrong.

Frankly they should all go back to where they came from *puts down Daily Mail*

I wasn't really paying attention. This is what happens when you go from forum whore to actually trying to do some work. Frogjive me?

I'll frogjive you mate. Anywtime. Sounds kinky.

I typed mine phonetically too - I couldn't spell them if I tried! Mine are definitely those said to female - if it ends in an "a" sound it's female, if it's the more "ay" or "e" sounding ending it's male. Hard to make sounds with letters and words! :)

What annoys me the most is those stinking Aussies with their flip-flops and floppy hats, complaining about warm beer and sh1t weather and taking all our money and jobs and then beating us at every sport we attempt to play.. why don't they all fsck off back to where we sent them?!

Cheers Ben, but it would mean a lot to me if aidan would frogjive me too.. have you ever had group-frogjive? :P

(Puts on speech & language therapy hat) We should be writing all posts using the International Phonetic Alphabet.

Voiceless labio-dental fricative; unrounded open-mid central vowel; voiceless velar plosive;
(new word) unrounded open-mid back vowel; voiceless labio-dental fricative.

IPA should only ever stand for India Pale Ale.. "phonetic" just doesn't enter into things! :P